China Cultural Review: How do you say "Bah Humbug" in Chinese?

Here in this land of minimal Christian influence . . . with few white Europeans, a Christian migrant population is almost nil, a and government interference heeds religious expression in the public sphere.

And yet, in the spirit of neo-capitalist progressiveness, never is there a shortage of Santa Claus-esque marketing. Global Economic Crisis or not, the spirit of Christian Consumerism fills the shopping malls and department stores - with sales, gimmicks, and children begging for toys. Completely void of respect for Jesus’ birth, the bright red colors of the Coca Cola approved Saint Nick abounds the freeways and shop walls, with holiday muzak tunes classy restaurants, fake Christmas trees where palm trees grow, and even cardboard cut-outs of snowmen in a city that has never seen snow.

I could be speaking of Southern California in the above, but this is Christmas time in Shenzhen, China. The Spring Festival and Chinese New Year approach, but in an attempt to modernize, and, of course, get people to buy shit, here I witness some strange facsimile of a Western Christmas celebration, in the very city that all those ‘Made in China’ toys are made in.

It all seems so unnecessary. An expat American foreigner in China might have expected to be spared of this annual ritual, but that would have been naïve. It doesn’t matter if anybody goes to church, just like the States, it only matters that we buy presents. While more about souvenirs and cheap DVDs than a big turkey dinner with your family, the unnecessary caroling by primary school children rings somehow hollow. “We wis yoo a mewwy Kissmass!” in broken English accent. The missionaries here must wonder: how saved are these souls?

But its not all homesick Holiday cheer here; there are still at least two clear differences remaining between a Christmas in Los Angeles and Shen Dan in Shenzhen. One: without a politically correct media and substantial Jewish population, we are spared the required “Happy Holidays” over “Merry Christmas.” There is no knowledge of Hanukkah in this town. No Menorah next to the reindeer ads. No scrounging for Hanukkah symbols in the name of equal time. Difference Number Two: Most regrettable of all, I still have to work on Christmas day. Yet, for a Jew familiar with the old-time tradition of eating Chinese food on December 25th when everything else is closed, it’s not so bad.

Ah well, the Chinese love to buy and receive gifts, and yet another cultural export amongst the hip hop videos and Hollywood movies is as good an opportunity as any. It always comes down to globalization in Shenzhen, and this bootlegged holiday is only one of many Western infiltrations into ancient Middle Kingdom culture. As long as it doesn’t detract too much from the domestic flavor of local flair, there are worse fates than Cathay. So off I go, to search the malls of Mixx City, bargain for knockoff namebrands in Dongman, dig for electronics in HuaQiangBei, and haggle down the yuan for that scarf on sale at the streetcorner on Buxin Road, and if anyone asks what Santa Claus has to do with Jesus, well, you should’ve known better than to not have expected that question. It’s not just that secular American holiday anymore, it’s a global shop day. Mewwy Kissmass.